Ms. Direct and Motherhood
In most cases, I tend to not mince words. William will jokingly refers to me as “Ms. Direct” from time to time. However, I sometimes I find myself at a loss for words when in conversation with my children…the elementary school aged ones in particular.
Usually, this occurs when a subject arises that I feel strongly about, and I want to give them a clear understanding of my position on the matter, without giving them too much information on the subject. It happens most often when in conversation with my children that are old enough to want an explanation, but are not really old enough to have all of the details.
I found myself in this situation just last night over dinner with my five and seven year old. Will finished my sentence for me as I said, that “my job as your mom is to teach you things so that you will know how to make good decisions for yourself when..” and he said, “when we get bigger and need to know how to be good grown ups.” Yes…exactly.
The thing is, that has become a response of mine when they ask for a secondary explanation of my original answer. Thus, this general principle is one that I have substituted for a more detailed response that I feel would give more information that necessary for someone their age. For now, they seem to be okay with taking my generalized answer to mature questions at face value…along with knowing that the information will help shape them into healthy adults.
Parenting can be such a cerebral activity. I love how it challenges me to think through my interactions with my children. Slowing down and really considering my responses before I give them forces my own growth while hopefully shaping theirs. Have you felt the same way? I’d love to hear your comments!
How I Found A Great Nanny/Housekeeper
As William and continue our search for the right fit in our house as a housekeeper, he keeps saying to me…”and that is why people use search firms.” I have always believed in the work he is doing at FaithSearch Partners, but I believe in it even more in recent weeks!
As I posted a few weeks back, we began our search for a housekeeper/nanny almost a month ago. After interviewing four or five people we met through other friends, etc….it became clear to us that we needed someone to help filter the candidates. Though many of the people we interviewed were lovely, we would learn immediately that something wasn’t going to work (they didn’t speak English, etc).
As with any job, the position we are offering in our home has come about due to certain needs we have realized are not being met, or will need to be met in the near future…and we aren’t able to do so without another set of hands! I have learned that the key to finding the right person for us lies in our ability to find specific combination of those qualifications in one person. I did not necessarily know this going in, but can say with confidence now that this is a very difficult search to do on your own.
Though I balked at the idea initially, using a search firm has been a huge asset! They have done much of legwork to know which people are most likely to have the combination of qualifications that we are looking for for this position. Of course, it is up to us to determine if the “fit” is right with our family, but the initial screening has allowed us to start at that point instead of the very beginning. And most important, they have what seems to be an unending supply of candidates for me to interview without me having to go badgering friends, etc. for names.
Though searching for staff at large companies and faith based organizations, as William does in his career, requires a much more detailed look at candidates so that a small number of highly qualified people can be interviewed, this experience has clearly shown how utilizing firms for searches on all scales can be very worth one’s time and money! When doing searches for household help, etc we have learned that a “test run” is a good way to go. We ended up doing this with three different people. The first two candidates were both ladies who realized after her being here for a few days that they really wanted to focus more on one aspect of the job as opposed to the other…and we need both, and don’t have room in the house or the budget for two different people! I am hopefully that as of yesterday we may have found a good fit. I am glad we started the process when we did, but most importantly, I am glad we went ahead and hired a firm to help us. It was worth it!
Happy News!
Moments ago, I opened an email from my mother with the following picture:
Granddaddy ringing the bell at MD Anderson after finishing his cancer treatment!
When I opened my mother’s email and saw this picture, I took one look at Granddaddy’s huge smile and I burst into tears!
At MD Anderson, there is a tradition that the radiation patients get to “ring the bell” as they walk out the door for the last time. It gives all the other patients great pleasure and probably a lot of hope when they get to clap for him and offer congratulations. The patients and their families get to be quite a community as they meet there every day at the same time….many for up to 6 weeks. many are far from home with little to do. Granddaddy has been being treated for Lymphoma and a separate spot on his lung. As Mom said, “We feel very blessed that [the cancer] was caught so early and is being treated with success.”
God is good!
Are you ready for the school year to begin?
There was an article in today’s Houston Chronicle that discussed the merits of year-round schooling. Meanwhile…it seems like the other moms/kids out there I talk to are split down the middle as to whether or not they are ready to head back to school. I thought it would be fun to see how the numbers really shook out! Thanks for participating!
[polldaddy poll=1887975]
Home….
Being married to a preacher, I sometimes get a window into the world of his sermon preparation. I have learned that this is a very unscientific and fluid process. The messages he delivers on Sunday mornings are ones which have come to him over the course of time. It is almost as if they are given to him, not something he chooses. I have also learned that over the course of the week or two prior to him delivering a particular sermon, he will give me clues as to what message is rolling around in his head. He probably doesn’t even realize he is doing it…but as we near Sunday morning the random questions and topics will become less random and I can see that the message has taken shape in his heart, and is now being fine-tuned in his mind. This was the case a few weeks back, when on Saturday night he looked at me and said, “Do you know what the most COMFORTING word in the English language is?” Of course, I knew he already had the answer, and that I would probably hear the answer again the next morning sitting in worship in the church pew at church.
Sometimes, messages really speak to you when you are hearing them. Other times, it may be awhile, but then you find yourself in a particular situation that draws that message up in your mind again. This was the case, as we loaded up to head out to Midland for a long weekend at my grandparent’s house. William’s sermon on going home flooded back into my brain. (To hear part or all of this sermon click on http://www.cypresscreek.cc/recent-sermons-listen-online/ and select the sermon titled “Home is Coming” which is about midway down the page)
Though wherever I live with my children, or wherever my parents live will always be considered “home” to me…those homes have changed many times over the years. My grandparents, however, have been in the same house since I was about 6 months old. It is also very much one of my “homes.”
For my entire life, my family and I have visited them, staying at their house, sometimes multiple times a year. Both of my mother’s siblings live in Midland too, thus all of my cousins grew up there and my Aunts and Uncles on that side of the family are there as well. My memories of visits there are some of the best memories I have. When we are there we really just hang out at their house and visit, play cards, etc. Now our numbers are much larger given the fact that we’ve all grown up, many of us have married, and had children. It is now the great-grandchildren playing with the toys that were once played with by the grandchildren. The “kids” table and the “grown-up” tables have merged and now we just split into the two tables randomly. This year is particularly special as we celebrate my Great Granddaddy’s birthday (along with 3 other members of the family whose birthdays are within the same two weeks). It is special because he is finishing up chemotherapy for Lymphoma, which was discovered last March and he has done great! In fact, he is still working pretty full-time when he isn’t immuno-compromised.
Leaving to make the eight-hour drive to Midland made me remember that sermon of William’s. Home really is the most comforting word in the English language. I realized it is such a blessing to have SO MANY places to call home! Many friends of mine speak of other places they consider “home”. It is fun to hear so many different stories! Some are family and others are not. Please feel free to share your “Homecoming story” here!
IT’s a……..
GIRL!!!! We cannot wait to meet Macy Gwendolyn sometime in early January! Everything looked great on the ultrasound. We feel so blessed.
Christmas Eve in August…why else would I be blogging at 5am?
Remember Christmas Eve when you were a kid? You can hardly settle down enough to go to sleep…and when you FINALLY do, you feel like you never really slept because you kept waking every thirty minutes to check the time? It is the only morning (barring a few others, such as today) that I can think of in my life, in which I am readily glad, and anxious, to jump out of bed before the sun comes up (or, if I’m speaking honestly, before about 9am!)
I know that excitement is really an excitement for the expectancy of a day that seems so long in coming. Today, I have two things that I am awake for. First, William and I get to go see our baby on ultrasound for the big “anatomy check”. That means finding out if all is well with the baby, and also learning if we will have Emmett Thomas or Macy Gwendolyn join our family in early January! I could not be more excited! I also, could not be more honest when I say that I truly have no preference as to whether it is a boy or girl….we just want a healthy baby, and just want to know! Since I have had both a boy and a girl, and we are raising a total of four girls and two boys, most of the excitement lies in how the new baby will add to that mix. Of course, I wouldn’t be totally honest if I did not also mention the fact that part of the reason I am awake is the natural anxiety that all momma’s have about the baby being healthy and developing without problems. But, I find comfort in knowing that it is all out of my hands.
The other source of excitement, which has gotten me out of bed so early this morning, is the fact that it is the day Ana arrives. With six kiddos in and out of our house, me keeping up with my business, and William’s business (www.Faithsearchpartners.com) going gangbusters (something we are both thrilled about….no complaints here!) we’ve been running at a fast pace. And no complaints about fast moving either! If you ask either of our mothers, they will tell you that William and I, individually, have always been people that idle at ninety miles-per-hour with our hair on fire, so moving fast is something we do well as a pair. The problem is, the more pregnant I get, the harder it is to run! And I know that with a brand new baby, life will need to slow down!
So, about a month ago, we launched a search for someone to help us here during the weekdays. It means a big change for me, as I am very used to managing most aspects of my house…and am, self-admittedly, pretty particular about how they get done! William loves to tell the story about how he “had to agree” that he would let me handle all of the laundry when we got married. It’s true too! I have a lot of fabulous systems in place to keep things moving, and the house in order. The problem is, with as many moving parts as we have it seemed like a daunting task to find someone capable of taking over many of those, and assisting me with the others.
About two-weeks into my search for this person, my mother looked at me and said, “Adrienne…you are looking for someone to be you when you can’t be there. Your entire business was based on the job of running a house in an orderly fashion, which makes you a bit of an expert…so, keep in mind you need to find an expert to match your expectations!” That was certainly a great compliment, but it was even better advice, as it put the search into perspective! I hired a professional agency (thanks to a good friend’s recommendation) the very next day and had three interviews set up in 24 hours. Ana was the first person that I interviewed from that group (the other two were really good too). Having worked with another family for 17 years (until the children all went off to college) she is an expert in this role. I am excited to see how the next few days and weeks unfold.
Stay tuned for what is to come! I will post more news on Baby Vanderbloemen later today…and, of course, update on how the laundry turnover is going! 
A link to the how-to page at the request of some of my readers…
Since I am still figuring this all out, I thought I would go back and give you a few links that pertain the posts I’ve already written.
Since I mentioned finding a how-to make tie-up shades article while googling around, some of you has asked for this link. A little fair warning, I took this as a basic design and tweaked it a bit. Where she says to just fold the side and sew…I actually fold it once, iron it down, and fold it again so there are no raw edges visible. Also…it is a really bad idea to sew around the perimeter (the fabric will move/stretch) so it is better to first sew the sides….then do the top and finally the bottom. I actually went and hung them after doing to the top to make sure I had my length correct before I hemmed the bottom. Finally, I left only a 4″ panel on the top, because I like the way it looked better. I did a 1″ side hem and a 2″ bottom hem. Hope that helps for anyone trying to replicate! Feel free to comment with questions and I’ll respond. Here is the link: http://infarrantlycreative.blogspot.com/2008/01/tie-up-shades-tutorial.html
Finding peace and makin' shades.
The shades I made!
I think Dave Ramsey is great. I really do. I’m sure that if you read this with any regularity, you will find that to be true, since I tend to refer to his principles regularly in my life and my decision making. He comes to mind here, though, because when it came to deciding whether to pay someone to make window treatments for my bathroom, or do it myself…I realized it was really a question of financial peace. This is such a great principal for making decisions….what gives you the most peace?
Here is the story: We have a huge window in our bathroom that needed some softening, and I had a lot of extra fabric that matches our bedding. To pay someone to make a shade for that big of a window would cost hundreds, and I just have a hard time finding peace with that, when I knew I could possibly do it myself. Believe me, if I can do it, so can anyone!
I love the clean look of a roman shade, but I did not even want to attempt making something like that with all of the hardware, etc. I had seen these “tie-up” shades which I thought looked less frilly than most other options that I could possibly make. After googling around, I found some pictures and even a how-to article, and then did what I always do when it comes to sewing or cooking projects. I called my mother.
She and I devised a plan for how I could make a similar shade, we discussed the process for putting it together….and then she went home, and I went to work. Yes, it took most of my afternoon….and I fudged a bit by using ribbon for the ties instead of making my own, but I have to say I think it came it really nice!
I am glad to share the how-to steps for anyone that wants to do something similar…but I think the bigger take away for me was that I still find myself amazed at what I am able to accomplish on my own if I just give it a shot and, of course, find people to help me figure out how to get started. Though I am blessed to have such a knowledgeable mom on subjects such as shades, it is pretty neat to find such a wealth of knowledge on the subject right on my computer! Not sure if this will inspire anyone, but it certainly was a worthwhile venture for me!
Why I love a good calendar
I love calendars. The reason I love my calendar, though, is because it frees me from having to try to remember things. I really am not very good at remembering things, and since I know that about myselft, I needed a better option. This way, all I have to remember is to look on my calendar each day. Once I have put something on there…I can allow it to escape my head without worrying about it, until it comes up on my calendar. Before the computer calendars and palm pilots became en vogue, I was a Daytimer gal. The rewriting of routine things, and annual events got tedious though…and I have a lot of routines I try to keep up with!
Now, I live by my iCal which came loaded on my computer (I am also an Apple gal). It is fabulous because I can assign different calendars (each with their own color) for each member of the family and differentiate between my own daily routines, work schedules, travel, etc. Any calendar that can be transferred to a PDA or phone with a calendar application will suffice. Being able to put it on your phone works as an instant back up and comes in handy when you aren’t in front of your computer.
For all of the routines that I developed over the years in order to simplify my life, if I didn’t have a good calendar system to rely on, I would get nowhere. I thought I would share one of those routines in this post, but realized I needed to first mention my love for a good calendar.